A Short Story.. based on my current mental health.
Written May 2025, after an all-nighter.i've never seen myself as a therian
but i don't know if this body is mine
i've struggled with duality.
i've never been certain if its just me running around in my brain.
sometimes i wake up, and i've done things i don't remember.
sometimes i can't remember my past, sometimes i do.
sometimes i am simply a stranger watching things happen.
i ask for responses, and eventually i am given.
they write intros, they write rp responses.
whatever is in here, i don't think its human.
i think it pretends to be, to seem normal.
they aren't particularly keen on showing themselves.
the names i give them are more for seperation, than anything.
sometimes i long for a tail, other times claws.
ears to emote. sharper teeth.
yet i do not feel an attraction to anything real.
rather unknown, not of this earth.
i feel more connection with phones, than any animal.
more connections with analog horror monsters, than anything human.
i wonder what will come of it.
i wonder if i will ever get diagnosed with anything.
with the current worldview, is it even worth it?
what is there to fuse, when even i am unsure?
what is there to communicate with, if i've tried, and been met with crumbs?
what is there to respond, when i am not in control?
i hope one day, i will feel normal, human, real.
i hope one day i will be able to accomadate those in my brain.
i hope one day i even get to see them at all.
i hope one day i will finally feel like me.